This team is the Death Star. And it is fully operational. Travis acquired Kyle Schwarber, Jazz Chisholm Jr., and two future Vin Mazzaro picks this week, sending Gunnar Henderson and Dustin May the other direction, and came out of it with the #1 Oracle composite in the league by a margin wide enough to be uncomfortable for everyone else. Brady House rose 90 spots in the Oracle. Chase Meidroth rose 85. 13 prospects. Average age 25.4. Konnor Griffin made his debut, which could be the equivalent of welding the thermal exhaust port shut. Too meta? Go fuck yourself. If you came here looking for a weakness, you are going to have to look harder.
Last week we ranked this team 4th and called it editorial restraint. We are now first in the standings and the restraint is gone. Joey Cantillo rose 93 and Griffin Jax rose 84 in the Oracle rankings. Oracle composite says #4. The standings say #1. We are ranking ourselves #2 and calling it growth.
No trades. No drama. 21 lineup changes last week, most in the league after your commissioner, who has a separate problem. David Bednar rose 94 spots in the Oracle; Harry Ford slipped 61. Nothing about this roster changed, which is the whole strategy. Philbell slides to #3 only because the rosters above them got more dangerous, nothing here got worse. The quiet confidence of a manager who drafted well and is simply waiting for everyone else to blink first. Or that's the affirmation I'm trying to manifest for now. At some point though, we'll need to see some actual results.
Acquired Andrew Abbott and Luis García Jr. from Vin Mazzaro fan club for Kyle Teel and Bryson Stott — a deal that aged well within 48 hours. García Jr. rose 92 spots in the Oracle immediately after arriving thanks to a blazing start to the season at the plate (.324 avg 1.000 OPS, 6 RBIs). Luis Gil fell 61, the one real cost of an otherwise productive week. Rollie holds #3 in the Oracle composite and #2 in the actual standings, and added real depth without surrendering anything he will miss. The Fingers are in many cookie jars and the cookies keep getting better (is this anything?).
No transactions this week. Oracle movement is a wash: Cade Cavalli rose 87 spots while Ike Irish fell 85, netting roughly lateral. For a team with this top-end, lateral is fine. The Melonheads slip to 5th because the rosters above them are getting scarier, not because anything went wrong here. The core is holding. The bullpen veterans are aging on schedule. This is a very good team doing very steady things, and very steady things may be enough. We are only just getting started, after all, and this is one team you can count on to be around in September.
Bobby Miller fell 175 spots in the Oracle this week. From #597 to #772. That is not a decline, that is a player falling through the floorboards, through the basement, and into whatever geological layer exists beneath the basement. Brady Singer rose 83 spots to partially offset the damage. No trades were made. No trades appear to be coming for the one team that actually needs to make some trades. Holding at 6th, and 6th might be exactly where this team lives all season.
🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 2025 First- 🕯 🕯 round pick 🕯 🕯 Mike Trout 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯The Meteors stay at 7th because Oracle #8 is Oracle #8, but the internal movement here is more encouraging than the ranking implies.
A brief note on the Verlander-for-McCullers swap completed this week: Verlander (age 42, Oracle #711) departed. McCullers Jr. arrived at Oracle #805. This is the first transaction in recorded history where both assets declined in transit. Elsewhere: Randy Vasquez rose 136 spots, the largest single-week mover in the entire league. Gunnar Henderson arrived via the John Henry deal and provides a legitimate anchor this roster needed. There is more here than the stats suggest. 9.53 ERA Paul Skenes would like you to know that.
Jordan Walker rose 116 spots in the Oracle this week, the biggest single mover on the roster and a real sign that the floor here is higher than 11th-place standings suggests. No transactions, no trades, and only 2 lineup changes, which the Oracle has now logged and is reporting with a small purple pill. This is not a moral judgment. It is a data point (It's both). But hey, the season is young, maybe this adversity is just the start of the championship DVD? The Oracle sees all.
Pat set his lineup on... *checks notes*.. oh that's right, Pat didn't set his lineup at all last week. Oracle composite: 11th. Roto standings: 4th. What this means is that one player is personally carrying the weight of an entire management strategy, and that player knows exactly who he is, and he is tired (Andy Pages, 1.636 OPS, 12/20, 2 HR). Corbin Carrol seemed to be on load management this week, which is a shame because he sported a 1.206 OPS with 4 RBIs. We won't mention the 3 starters who should have been on load management because they are injured. Pat: are you there buddy? Should we call someone? The Oracle is concerned about you. Set your lineups, people.
Jorge Polanco rose 88 spots in the Oracle this week. Louis Varland rose 84. Nick Gonzales rose 80. Something is quietly stirring at the bottom. The sleeping pill, for his part, submitted a formal response to last week's coverage: "Steve clearly has TDS — Trazadone Derangement Syndrome!! Travis was BEGGING to make a trade with me and I SECURED a deal that will UNLEASH this team's potential for years to come. SAD!" We believe him. We believe him so much that we put him in the exact same place. Move up the rankings you crazy bastard!