We need to have a frank conversation about philbell, if that even is your real name. Shohei Ohtani: 44 projected HR, a .958 OPS, pitcher and hitter is on this roster. So is Ronald Acuña Jr., back healthy for the first time since 2023, projected 31 HR and 24 SB. And Junior Caminero at 23 years old projecting 36 home runs. And Nick Kurtz at 23. And Wyatt Langford at 24. The youngest contending roster in the league at 26.7 average age, four players under 25 in the top 27 overall, and somehow, somehow only, a fourth-place finish last year. If philbell doesn't win this thing in 2026 we are launching a formal inquiry. The algorithm has spoken.
REST IN PEACE TO THE COMMISH. The autopen to my Joe Biden. Or maybe he is Joe Biden the way he was asleep at the wheel last season. But alas: this team finished 10th last year. We are ranking them second. Here is why. Gunnar Henderson, Yordan Alvarez, Zach Neto, Rafael Devers, Riley Greene, and Cole Ragans make up a legitimate MLB core that most contenders would kill for. And then, and this is the part that should terrify the rest of the league, the prospect cupboard contains Konnor Griffin (20 years old, AA Pittsburgh, Oracle #18 overall), Kevin McGonigle (22, AA Detroit), and Leo De Vries (19, AA Oakland). Three elite prospects on one team. The youngest average roster age in the league at 25.2 years. John Henry finished 10th because dynasty timing is brutal and minor leaguers don't contribute immediately. Or maybe because he didn't set his lineup after May. Or maybe he was too busy running the league? Either way, this franchise is built to run. Will he remember his login come August? Stay tuned.
Bobby Witt Jr. may just be the #1 player in all of dynasty baseball. Not top five. Number one. He's 26, hits for average and power, steals bags, plays shortstop, and somehow got better this offseason (+2 rank according to my metrics). James Wood (#19) gives you a second elite young outfielder. Bryan Woo (#23) has front-of-rotation upside (this trade was a fleece, maybe the most corrupt ever, some are saying. We are going to be taking a very hard look at this, thank you for your attention to this matter!). Ketel Marte and Pete Alonso provide proven veteran production. The Melonheads finished 2nd last year and nothing in this roster suggests regression. The one question is whether the middle of the depth chart can keep pace with the franchises loaded top-to-bottom below them. Walker Buehler is ranked #814. We mentioned it so you don't have to.
Yet another owner who forgot his login come June. Maybe we should post it here so he can remember? Sam finished 11th last year. Eleventh. And yet Sam owns Juan Soto: the #1 player in baseball? Projected .946 OPS, 34 HR, the kind of asset most managers would trade half their farm system to acquire. Add Julio Rodríguez (#10, only 25 years old) and Pete Crow-Armstrong (#18, just jumped 11 spots this cycle and he's 24, though he still is on fraud watch, grow a real head of hair), and this is a top-3 team by talent ceiling. Yoshinobu Yamamoto rounds out a rotation that looks legitimate. We're not sure what happened in 2025 (we are). We're choosing not to ask. What we do know is that Sam enters 2026 as the most dangerous bounce-back story in the league. Kyren Paris (#873) is still on the roster, which keeps us from ranking this team higher.
Previously known as Rollie Fingers. Same owner. Different dead pitcher's name on the marquee. We respect the commitment to the bit. What we respect even more: Elly De La Cruz (#8 overall, projected 38 SB at age 24) and Garrett Crochet (#9, best Oracle score (i'm still workshopping the name) of any pitcher in the algorithm at 0.93) in the same rotation. That is possibly the most dangerous 1-2 combination at two different positions in this entire league. JJ Wetherholt (#46, Oracle #39) is a legitimate top prospect lurking in AAA. Jesus Made (#54) is 19 years old in AA and a name we'll be saying a lot. This is a young roster (26.6 average age) with elite top-end talent. The question is depth behind the headliners — and whether Rod Beck, a veteran of this league under whatever name, will keep his crown from slipping. Bryce Harper is 33 and addicted to filtering his blood. We note this neutrally.
Congratulations again to your reigning champion (Verbal meme: Jeb Bush "Please clap") who is also now your commish, somehow. A completely normal power arrangement and totally not going to his head. Tarik Skubal (#6) is a Cy Young-caliber ace. Aaron Judge (#11) is Aaron Judge. Cal Raleigh (#20) is the best catcher in dynasty baseball. His ass doesn't really do it for me though, I've seen better (see: Aaron Judge). Roman Anthony (#28) is 22 years old and the Oracle has him at #6 in the entire sport. A potential franchise player in the making. Mason Miller locks down saves. Cristopher Sánchez gives you a dependable rotation piece. This is a legitimate defending-champion roster and we're only ranking me 6th so as to not appear biased. Problems? We invite those people to talk to the complaints department. And then there is Kris Bryant, ranked #834, 34 years old, drifting through the bottom of this roster like a ghost looking for the 2016 World Series ring he left in a lost and found. Every champion is allowed one haunted roster slot.
Here is a team that will finish exactly where you expect them to and make you feel vaguely unsatisfied about it and yet somehow that's maybe a compliment? Jackson Chourio is 22 years old and already a top-20 dynasty asset with a long runway ahead. Chase Burns (#71, Oracle #38) is 23 and one of the more underrated young arms in this league. Logan Webb is your steady veteran rotation anchor with a hell of a mustache. Austin Riley hits for real power. Cags is 23 and about to hit rockets in Kansas City. This is a well-constructed middle-of-the-pack team with genuine upside baked into the youth. The Millvale Mids have hovered around 7th for a reason, and this year, that floor looks like a ceiling for several teams ranked below them.
Welcome to the league. You inherited Paul Skenes. We need to let that land for a moment. The 24-year-old Pirates ace is ranked #3 overall in this entire league, projects a sub-3.00 ERA, and is already one of the most exciting pitchers in baseball. How the hell did this team finish last? Most new dynasty owners arrive clutching a bag of lottery tickets and a prayer. You arrived with a unicorn. Jazz Chisholm Jr. (#22) gives you speed and pop at second base. Francisco Lindor (#35) is a dependable veteran shortstop. Kyle Schwarber (#38) will hit 39 home runs while drawing 90 walks. Joe Ryan (#56) rounds out a rotation that looks genuinely competitive. The team name is a tribute to a journeyman reliever, which is either the most humble or most chaotic energy in this league. We respect it. Don't trade Skenes in Week 3.
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. is a reliable dynasty anchor at #15 overall with a .914 projected OPS. Logan Gilbert (#32) gives you a durable mid-rotation arm. Maikel Garcia (#58) adds positional versatility and speed. Brent Rooker (#60) provides legit pop. And Max Clark, 21 years old, AA Detroit, Oracle #77, is a legitimate prospect who most of the league sleeps on at their peril. The Inkers have a solid core. They also have Jose Quintana at age 37 (#832), Alexis Díaz clocking in at #820, and Henry Godbout at #872 taking up a roster slot that could be used for essentially anything else. The algebra is: Vlad Jr. plus two good pieces, minus one foot perpetually in the grave. Finishing 9th for a second straight year is the most on-brand outcome here, but the upside is real if the roster moves get made instead of spending all his time on "LiveNOW from FOX" discussing foreign policy.
Corbin Carroll is a top-5 dynasty player at #4 overall, Oracle #7, 26 years old, projected 33 SB. He is genuinely elite and Pat deserves full credit for having him (or does he?). The problem is that dynasty is a roster sport, not a singles competition, and after Carroll the roster ages quickly. Mookie Betts is 34. William Contreras is solid but unremarkable. The roster Patrick carries has the highest average age in this league at 30.3 years, a full year and a half older than the next-nearest team. In dynasty, that's a big clock ticking. The 5th-place finish last year likely overstates where this team stands long-term unless significant retooling happens. Carroll is worth protecting at all costs. The question is what surrounds him in 6 months.
José Ramírez is 34 years old and still one of the most productive dynasty players in baseball. He's #21 overall, projects 27 HR and 30 SB, and has been defying his own aging curve for two seasons. Jarren Duran (#57) gives you a legitimate second piece. MacKenzie Gore (#88) and Bo Bichette (#92) round out a roster that is thin but not barren. The concern is straightforward: Ramírez is 34. The dynasty value window on a 34-year-old is not long. This team needs to either win now, which the supporting cast makes difficult, or decide that Ramírez is the centerpiece of a trade that funds a rebuild. The current holding pattern is the path to another 8th-to-11th finish. The name is a sleeping pill. The roster is a sleep question.
Welcome Anthony to the league! Although he still hasn't joined the telegram (who can blame him, Fiona from Belarus was calling me Josh earlier today and has no idea what "Deez" is) and we want to be clear that this ranking is a situation report, not a verdict. Fernando Tatis Jr. (#13) and Kyle Tucker (#16) are absolutely elite dynasty assets: a right fielder with speed and power, a left fielder with one of the best batting eyes in the game. Hunter Brown (#30) rounds out a great top three. Max Fried and Manny Machado provide veteran depth, though Machado at 34 and Fried at 32 are not building blocks so much as they are furniture. The bottom of this roster requires immediate attention: Jordan Montgomery is ranked #819 (I'll always love you Jordy). Vinny Capra is #823. Erick Fedde is #828. That is not a depth chart, that is a trivia question. You inherited Tatis and Tucker, which means you inherited a real foundation. The ceiling is significantly higher than #12. Get to work.